There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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