Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
