i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
