I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
