you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
