My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
