I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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