Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
its liver damage thursday
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
