So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize