Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
