Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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