Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So vagazzling was a success
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
