Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
