every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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