the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
