was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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