I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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