I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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