sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
