dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i will never coherently bang her
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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