He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
