should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
