the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
