if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize