HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Success! We fucked roommates!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
