we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
