What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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