So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
