Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.

Fav 15 947 5434
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(301): View more from Maryland

About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?

(1-301): View more from Maryland

hey.....beach week happens

Fav 18 4827 1551
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me

Fav 24 980 6674
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(+41): View more from Switzerland

I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples

Fav 16 1397 5439
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(509): View more from Washington

Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.

Fav 11 2393 1697
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(316): View more from Kansas

As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.

Fav 6 948 4008
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(315): View more from New York

You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea

Fav 3 740 466
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed

Fav 2 324 186
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