i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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