I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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