You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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