My girlfriend figured out who you are.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
