I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
