Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
why didn't you poke me back
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
