Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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