are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
