You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
