She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
