worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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