I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize