After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
