Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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