I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
