I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
