i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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