I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize