i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
