Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize