So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
