The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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