pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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