Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
