Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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