I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
