didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Randomize
